Reviewing the fleet

I reviewed the fleet the other day. Along with a few others, admittedly, I took my place on the walkway on the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and on cue, in the warships steamed, single file, projecting their full might and power in a wonderful early twentieth century way. The Opera House and Fort Denison quaked in their boots and instantly surrendered.


It was the Fleet Review, and it celebrated the 100th anniversary of the arrival in Sydney Harbour of the original Royal Australian Navy's seven ships, all state-of-the-then-art vessels made in England.

I pronounced our navy fit and well and reasonably adequate to fight World War One again. I think that's what navies are for after all. Its ships tend to be made here these days, and cost far more than they should, and often don't work. But there are a lot more than seven of them these days, so some of them are always working.

In fact, seeing as they had also invited ships from China, Indonesia, the United States, Japan, and about a dozen other countries, to join in the fun and to party on with pageantry, fireworks, and fun galore, they could have even used the opportunity to fight World War Three while they were here.

The media coverage was all about the fabulousness of the spectacle and the super-eligibility of the redhead bachelor prince who was visiting, but there were comments from the less enamoured in the newspaper letters columns. About, for example, the irony of the extravagant expenditure at a time when the new Federal Government is banging on about 'budget black holes'. About the obscenity of said expenditure when the very navy we're celebrating is actually going to be tasked now mainly with just carrying out the dirty work of said new government, in repelling a small number of desperate refugees they make out we can't possibly support in our rich, comfortable country. Refugees mainly from wars we've been involved with, wars created to keep in business the poor old military-industrial complex that needs to keep building ships (and planes, bombs, and tanks and things) to keep the tired old system ticking over.

It would be nice if the world could work this all out for itself eventually, but it probably won't. So see you again in 100 years time!